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203 Upon their return from the Russian campaign, before dispersing, the Psifabe Brigade stayed one night at Psikuy. The entire brigade was present at the funeral of Şate. A large crowd gathered for the funeral. The village over flowed with people who came both the banks of the Psıfabe Valley to meet to participate in the funeral, and the receive their kins returning from the campaign. The Psifabe Brigade, including Şate, had twenty-two casualties. Şate was a victim of his own excitement; some of the others were frozen to death, and others disappeared without a trace. The announcement of the lost ones culminated the second great outcry. The persons, who were there to meet their kins but couldn't find them, cried and wailed with pain. The life was to go on in spite of all that. The desire to live was a natural passion. This desire was what ruled the human being. The soldiers of the Brigade had remained away from their kins for more than two months. Naturally, therefore, they were in a hurry. Right after the funeral, without really bidding proper farewell to each other, they set out for their villages. Bastis did the same. Bram, with Nathos' permission, left Psikuy with his elder brother Takir, his son Genar and the soldiers from Çığızaç. More than twenty days went by. In such situations, it was tradition to visit the friends and relatives. Bram, without any further delay, wanted to discharge his obligation. He asked his wife to start preparations for the journey. Bram was planning to visit the Nathos with the elders. He thought of sending the younger ones latter. Bram did not have a chance to talk to his son Genar since the his return from the campaign. He had waited for him to get over the morale shock her had suffered. He decided to talk to Genar with the pretext of his projected visit to the Nathos. The day before his departure, he called his son. He started talking straight away about the subject, he told about his plans. -I want to visit the Nathos with our elders once again. After our return, you can go as well. Genar didn't say a thing. They were in the courtyard, standing. Bram was by the mounting stone, looking into distant fields. Turning his back halfway to his son, who was few steps behind him, he started on what was in his mind. - I am told that in Crimea you have stopped over at Bahçesaray. Didn't you go into the town and look for Ahmet Sena? I don't believe he has gone further away in the middle of the winter. -I asked for Ahmet Sena every place we've been to. Let alone finding him, I didn't see anyone who knew of him. Bram looked down troubled. -Sena's departure was untimely. How I would like him to be with me going to Nathos. Genar didn't respond. He simply looked at his father. He thought that he was expressing his sorrow over Sena's absence. Bram explained briefly why he needed Sena. -The Nathos have become our friends. We cannot abandon them anymore. However, they are not Muslims. Only Sena could have explained facts properly. He paused for a moment. Then asked with curiosity. -You spent a long time with Şate. Didn't you ever talked about religion? A sad smile passed through Genar's face. 204 -True! I was with Şate for about a month. We slept side by side. We talked about a lot of things. But, we never discussed religion. He never posed a question. I, myself had no courage to bring it up. We would have time , I thought. I thought our company would last forever. I was hoping that we would understand each other in every domain. Suddenly, that unfortunate event occurred. He died in my arms in a cursed Russian village. Bram regretted posing the last question. At that moment Şate’s demise had slipped his mind. He had uttered those words unwittingly. He was as sad and as troubled as his son was. He was not able to reconcile with the departure of Ahmet Sena. He seemed to have lost his balance of reasoning. The losses, including Şate, during the campaign disturbed him profoundly. He was worried about the people's reaction. He was wondering when and how their reaction would be expressed. When he was troubled, he missed Ahmet Sena. At such times irrational thoughts were crowding his mind. "I should not have let him go. I should have kept him here by force" he was saying. Then he would be overwhelmed with compassion. Sena's sad face, at the moment of his departure would appear before his eyes.. In the heart each human being there is a deep rooted attachment to his homeland. It was possible to observe such love and longing in Ahmet Sena. In his each word there was a side which reflected his yearning for his land. Sena was a hurt man. All his life he had never been happy. So, he always tried to hide his feelings. Bram appreciated Sena's feelings and his state of mind. He realized how much he wanted to return to Istanbul. Through out the last year, he guessed Sena was looking for a chance to return to his homeland. At this very moment the father and the son; came to accept Sena's journey of no return. "The Sena incident" had preoccupied the Bastis for a long time. It had ended abruptly. This fact should had to be admitted. Both of them had to conclude the subject. Genar was linked his father's interest in Nathos with his tendency to push the Sena syndrome in to the background. He needed an important change, a significant event that would help him forget about Sena's departure. He gathered courage, looked into his father's eyes. -Would you be suggesting the Nathos to adopt Islam? Bram was taken aback. Then he smiled, collecting himself. -Wouldn't it be better? He said. Genar didn't respond. He was hesitating. Nathos, both in the Psifabe Valley and in the Black Sea coast, had formed ties with many Muslim families. But for some reason they had not given up the religion of their ancestors. It was difficult to guess their reaction to such a suggestion. Besides he had observed a similar lack of interest to the subject in Şate. He thought about Gubate. He was in love with her. The difference of faiths had never occurred to him. He himself was a Muslim, and Gubate was not. This difference of faith could become a major obstacle to their union. He felt ashamed of thinking about Gubate in front of his father. He bowed his head. Bram didn't speak again. He walked away towards the house. Genar looked behind his father for a while. Then, he sat on the cold mounting stone. He fixed his eyes on the guest house Ahmet Sena had stayed for years. He was absorbed in the past, trying to make out Sena’s facial lines which was getting fainter in his mind. He stayed there motionless for a long time. O0O 205 The next day Bram set out for a visit to the Nathos accompanied by his uncles Ale, Psıçe; and Thaces and Gigi, . If the situation allowed he would ask Nathos to adopt Islam. He included Imam Kobli in the group thinking that he could be helpful. Kobli was not a very gifted person. When he spoke, he was not very articulate or convincing. He said all he knew one after the other monotonously, with his eyes half closed. Still, he was a clergyman. As such he had made a name for himself in the Valley. He was respected by Muslims and others alike. The Nathos were still in mourning The family seemed to have returned to normal life. Though, they were speaking in low voice. They all felt deep inside the absence of Şate. They received Basti elders in a calm and dignified manners. The first evening they gave a dinner party honor of their guests, to which the notables of the village. were also invited. After the dinner, Kobli raised his arms saying "Amen!" Every one at the meal copied him. Even the old Natho Shalak with his arms extended, listened the prayer Kobli recited. After the dinner spread was cleared and everyone sat back, Shalak explained that they joined the prayers out of politeness. He said. -We are not against praying. We also, pray in gratitude to own our gods. Shalak was an outspoken person. Righteousness was underneath his rigid personality. His frankness bordering rudeness was gave him a frigid disposition. Concerned to be taken misunderstood, he continued. -The grand Basti Dadu was a proud man. Yet, at the same time he was intelligent. It was not possible for him to commit an error. Dadu had chosen Islam consciously. Shalak reflected a short while. -When you chose Islam, hell broke in the Valley. My elder brother Sible was enraged. We couldn't raise our voice. We reached to this day wandering through depravity and blind ignorance. He paused. He looked at Basti Ale, then to Imam Kobli. -Now, do you know what we will do today? We are trying to overcome our state of indecision. We are thinking. Not far. In near future we will also choose our new path, find new convictions. You should not doubt it. Perhaps we are delayed a bit. But we will catch you running, one day. Basti Bram was extremely worried. He broke into cold sweat with anxiety lest ill words tumble out of Shalak's lips His uncle Ale was a impatient, severe man. With his contrariness, he was more famous than Shalak. If the two old man got engaged in a quarrel, everything would have been spoiled. After Shalak finished speaking, Bram glance at his uncle Ale. He was looking at Shalak, smiling. He relaxed, convinced that he had been worried for nothing. He took a deep breath without letting anyone detected. The loss of beloved Şate had upset the Nathos. Besides the grievance, they had been in a spiritual void. This was clearly seen in Shalak's words. The old polytheist religion of Adige failed to clearly explain the afterlife. The pagan faith was based more on suspicion and fear. The concept of religion, the nature of the gods were fairly complicated. The gods were demanding rather than giving. Sible, who made himself felt by clap of thunder; Tleps who was felt in the hardness of iron and the scorching of fire; Sevseres, who echoed in the howling of tempest and in the foaming waves of oceans; Mezitha, who was hiding in the dark shadows of forest, and others were the gods who took before giving. The god of gods Tha was incomprehensibly mighty in the infinite universe. The exact nature of his commandments or his promises were not known. The old Adige religion, as a simple religion of uninstitutionalized, uneducated clans and families., was at its death bed It was not satisfactory any longer. Surrounded by more convincing celestial religions such as Islam and Christianity, it was loosing its ground. The adherents were beginning to feel it. Nathos were susceptible to the same feelings. Their internal confusion was fed from such a source as well. Basti elders stayed in Psikuy only two nights. Shalak said the last word when Bram and the ones with him were biding farewell: -You may, from now on, consider us as Muslims. Nathos were proud enough not to allow people to say "They were converted upon the pressure from the Bastis." Knowing this, Bram had not anticipated succeeding so easily and readily. He left Nathos with rejoice. Genar was pleased when he heard what happened in Psikuy. He had learned a lot from Ahmet Sena on the subject of religion. His literacy was close to nothing. But, he had memorized the fundamental principles of Islam. Since he had met with Gubate and developed interest in her, a phrase of Ahmet Sena was engraved in his mind. Sena had said, on the subject of marriage: -A Muslim man may marry a Christian woman. But, a pagan woman, never! Genar has been thinking about ways to over come this obstacle stemming from his religion. He himself was Muslim. Gubate, on the other hand, was adherent of the ancient religion of her ancestors. Thank god, it was no longer was an obstacle. Gubate finally was Muslim. This good news brought him a great relief. It revived his desire to live. He laughed sincerely for the first time his return from the campaign. He went hunting with Bace and Andre. Andre was renamed as Tiko1 , and the Ukrainian girl whom Takir had presented to Libe was renamed as Tipsas2 .These were what the elders had deemed appropriate, were readily owned by the rest of the family. In Caucasia, it was never evident how one would acquire a name, or earn a nick-name. Almost everyone, in addition to proper names, had a nick name. Parents never used their children with their proper names. When a child was grown up, he might be addressed with the nick name as well as the proper name; so much so that sometimes the former could replace the latter. Genar joked around with them, as he rode his horse flanked by two slaves. -Bace! Your father is thinking to marry Tipas with Tiko. What do you say to that? Bace looked shyly into distance and didn't answer. Genar, turned to Bace. Laughed loudly.
-I get it. You don't like the idea. You don't want let Tiko
to snatch Tipsas. If you have such intentions, say it loud.
I shall be the mediator. I'll go, ask Tipsas from my mother.
Bace, saying "You are embarrassing me!", pulled on the reins of his horse. He fell behind. The Ukrainian Andre, with his new name Tiko, was not able to follow the conversation between Genar and Bace. At one moment he would smile, the next a sadness and calm would settle on him. Tiko was beginning to get used to his new life. He found himself in an unexpectedly warm environment. He had thought he would have been chained, and worked very hard. But, everything was the opposite. Everyone treated him well. They provided him with a room of his own. He was surprised to find out that his door was not locked at night. He was comfortable. He simply couldn't believe his eyes. 207 Time to time he was thinking of his family. When he remembered burning down of his home, deportation of his family, he was filled with anger and pain. Then, the blooming desire of life and hope was taking over his being. He was reciprocating with the same warm feelings to the ones who smiled at him. Genar was out into fields to empty his heart filled with joy, rather then to hunt. They went on riding for hours. When they were just about to return, they run into a herd of deers. They dismounted the horses, approached the deers crawling. Only Genar fired. He was able to hit a young deer. They returned home cheerfully. This horse ride was good not only for Genar, but also for Tiko. Tiko went to bed that night smiling. He slept well with the conviction of being part of Basti family. O0O By the first days of April the weather was turning fair. The humid western winds started to bring rain instead of snow. Basti Bram thought that it would be best that his elder brother Takir and his son Genar pay another visit to Nathos, without much delay. One morning, he told Genar and other Basti youth to get prepared. He left for Çemko with the slave Zako. Bram, persuaded Takir with difficulty. Towards the evening of the same day, they came down to the village together. Then the next day, Takir, wearing a long face, left with the young Bastis for Psikuy. He didn't like such ceremonies. He had been living apart from the community. He had joined in the Russian campaign to avoid to be called "coward." He had spoken very little during the campaign. The group was formed entirely from Bastis. They were all young, save Takir. Among the men Genar, Lasmar, Smayl; among the women Bramhan, Dane, Suret were selected. Bace and Jıbğe were with them as horse keepers. The men were riding horses. The women were riding in a carriage. Takir was riding in the front on a white horse. Three young Basti men were directly after him. The carriage, driven by Bace, were taken in the middle. At the very back, Jıbğe was following the group. The bags, baskets in the carriage were full of gifts and food. The day before the Basti women had prepared various breads and buns. It was about noon time when they crossed the wooden bridge to the south.. They went through the east of the Kutez village, and turned towards the north. They stopped by a spring, had their lunch. Without wasting time, they got on the road. They reached Psikuy by the afternoon . All the youth were excited. Except Genar, they had not been to Psikuy before. Lasmar had never met with Nathos. Smayl and the Basti women had met with Şate and Gubate in the village of Fij at Nemerukos' wedding. Genar, even though he knew all the Nathos, was the most excited one. No doubt his was a special situation. He had been to the campaign. He had witnessed Şate's death. He had left Psikuy after Şate's funeral without talking with any of the Nathos. He was especially curious about Gubate's attitude. At the edge of the village, the men dismounted the horses, women got off the carriage. They went into the village on foot. First they run into the children. They walked towards the Natho quarters under the curious eyes of the children, who were lined up on both sides of the path. An older child guessed that they were from Çığızaç, and realized what was happening. He run ahead of them to inform the Nathos. 208 There was a large square in the middle of the village. At the left, there was a group of men standing around talking. When they saw the Basti convoy, they approached them interrupting their conversation, , and said "Welcome!" Some of them joined the convoy. Since the men were not at home, the women received the guests. In the Courtyard, at the front the grandmother Zeyide, a little behind her the lady of the house Pake, her daughters Gubate and Vunay, were waiting with a dolorous calm. Zeyide, in a hoarse voice said, "please come in!" She embraced each Basti girl. Not being able to control herself, she began to cry. Basti daughters also cried aloud. Gubate embraced Bramhan. She cried silently, trembling inside. Her eyes were like a spring.. Large tear drops were running down on her pale cheeks. There was no one to soothe the women. Natho Hanbeş arrived, shortly after. Behind him the slave Laşe came limping. Hanbeş grabbed Takir’s arm. He was standing at the corner biting his lips. He pulled Takir gently towards the house, saying, "please come in." Hanbeş turned to his mother. He said: -Nann, it is enough! The women inside resumed crying. The other Natho women and the neighbors had gathered. The wailing of the women continued with increasing intensity. Hanbeş got fed up finally. He went out the guest house, came by the women. He silenced them down with difficulty. When Natho Sabe arrived home with his younger son Negu, calmness had been restored in the Natho quarter. The slave La?e met them at the entrance to the courtyard. Bace and Jıbğe were with him. Laşe said -Bastis arrived. Sabe looked at Bace and Jıbğe. Saying "Welcome", he walked to the guest house. It was getting dark. A profound silence had settled over the Natho quarter.
O0O
The next day, the young men had their lunch at Natho Hanbeş' house. Basti daughters were also invited to the lunch. Gubate stayed at her house. Hanbeş' son Agu and Şate's younger brother Negu had lunch with the guests. The daughter of the house, Kodan, served. After the meal a group of young men and women from the village came by. Çermıtıko Aje was with them. Genar knew all the new arrivals. He had established friendships with the ones who had been in the Russian campaign. He introduced them his kins. The grief felt for the death of Şate was transformed into a silent respect to his memory. Everyone was speaking in a low voice. Genar, upon the insistence of a youth who had not been in the campaign, narrated how Şate was killed. He had difficulty speaking. 209 Kodan, who seemed to be a harsh and difficult girl, started Sobbing. Some other girls joined her. It was leading to a lamentation session. Aje went on. -It is not possible that we forget Şate. But, tears cannot bring him back . In my opinion the best we can do is to remember the good days we had with him, alive. Keep alive his memory. An uneasy silence overwhelmed those in the room. Aje looked around him. He said. -The weather is very nice. If you want, let's go out for a walk. Nobody spoke. Everybody followed Aje who was walking to the door. They went down to the Courtyard. Indeed, the weather was clear and limpid. Sun was shining. The earth was moist and the air was refreshing. The girls put on their koraks3 Covered their heads with knitted shawls. Men took along their cloaks. Just as the group was leaving, Gubate and Vunay appeared at the gate connecting the two courtyards. Genar who was at the front, on the right, stopped when he saw Gubate. He turned to her. Gubate came near wearing a sad smile. She said -Are you going somewhere? Genar took couple of steps towards Gubate. -Friends suggested to take a walk. Will you join us? Gubate stepping back allowed the group pass. -Of course... Let's go! With Genar and Gubate leading on the right, the group left the Courtyard. They walked in the field that extended towards the west of the village. Genar thought of his first visit to Psikuy; they had walked here in the same fields in a large grouper, he recalled the story the cheerful girl Canseri had told to tease Psinav Kanje who had been in love with her. He remembered how joyful they had been. That day even Kodan, the severe and rigid Natho girl, had been laughing. Today, however, some walked with heads down, others were gazing into the distance with a pensive air. Today Kodan facial features were frozen. Her eyes were red, her lips were swollen and blackened.
Gubate too was depressed. She was weakened beyond the normal,
seemed like she had given in to fatality. The sadness weighing in
her heart was reflecting on her face.
Nobody dared to speak. Everybody was worried about saying something to add to the suffering of the Nathos'. The men wanted to talk about the imminent war. Then they thought about Şate. To chat about something light wouldn't be correct, given the situation. Genar wanted to say something to end the silence. He searched for an appropriate subject. He couldn't find one. Then he just spoke out . -Finally the winter is over. The spring arrived with joy of life. It is as if the earth is waking up all over! For awhile no one spoke. Then Gubate responded in a hoarse voice. -Yes, we had an inauspicious winter. A freezing winter that took away our beloved. How fortunate the ones who can meet the spring with joy and health! Genar looked at Gubate shivering. Her face was etched with pain, sadness and anger. He was scared. He couldn't find courage to continue talking. Helpless as he was, he walked looking ahead. The group, in silence, without speaking, passed through the meadows. Arrived at the tall plane trees. There was no one leading. Nobody was able to decide whether they should be going ahead or be returning. At that moment, as a group reflex the halted. 210 That didn't last long. Çermıtıko Aje came up with a offer that put everyone at ease. -You know: Şate was my best friend. Then, Bastiko Genar joined us as someone Şate esteemed highly. I was never jealous of him for this. Because, we all shared this friendship. Also I'd like to admit that Genar became a confidant of Şate during the Russian campaign. As it is well known by all us, Şate died in the arms of Genar. Aje reflected for a moment. Then continued. -Gubate might want to be alone with Genar, talk to him. She might have questions to ask about the last days, last moments of her brother Şate. If you agree we shall give her the opportunity. No one spoke. Aje took Bastiko Lasmar's arm. They walked ahead. The group followed. Genar and Gubate were left alone. There were three-four steps between them. Gubate was staring in front of her. Genar watched her sad, dejected face for sometime. The sorrow in her heart was reflecting on her face. She looked different. Genar never imagined he could be alone with Gubate. Unexpectedly presented with the chance, he was absorbed. He trembled with excitement. He looked towards the direction they had promenaded at the first time he had visited. "If you like we walk this way" he said. His heart was beating fast with the fear of rejection. Gubate lifted her eyes to look at Genar. Her face was extremely calm. She seemed to have accepted the sad reality, resigned to fate. After this short gaze, she dropped her eyes down again. She walked in the direction Genar pointed with slow, credulous steps. Genar followed her. As if they were afraid to get near each other, they kept the distance between them. By chance they reached to the place they had stopped and talked before. It was Gubate who slowed down first. The land was sloping down here. It was turning into a nice flat land in the distance, reeds were shooting up. The rich silt Kuban and its tributaries had bought down throughout the centuries, were deposited on the both sides of the calmly running river. The Bjedug land beyond the Kuban river was misty. The impression given by the northern horizon was one of a gray endless depth, not one of a limiting curtain. Both of them fixed their gaze into the infinite depth of the northern horizon. They seemed to be watching the return of Şate's soul which had escaped into the Russian steppes. After a long silence, Genar spoke out. -Do you know? I still can't believe Şate is dead. Even though he died in my arms, I led the horse carrying his remains for days, I cannot accept this reality. I sad smile passed through Gubate's face, first. It disappeared quickly. A frightening tension occurred on her cheeks. -No need to drag. My brother is dead. Her voice was cold and rigid like steel. Without changing her posture, she was still looking beyond Kuban. Genar blushed red as if he was slapped at the face. First he couldn't find words to speak. Then he recollected himself. He answered in a hurt voice. -Seems like you are angry with me. I didn't intend to reawaken your grief. I thought you might have had questions, that's why I raised to matter. Gubate looked with embarrassed and sad expression. Suddenly her eyes were filled with tears. As if to hide her tears, she turned her towards the north. 211 After awhile, in a brave voice that astonished Genar, "Forgive me!" she said. Her smooth voice was carrying the traces of strong willpower.
-I know everything. I don't want anybody feel sorry for my brother
and to us as his kins. This is all I want. I can't help to
be cross with the people who do that. Yes! My brother is dead.
He was the first victim of an war imminent war.
-There are worse deaths for a man! Genar was stunned. He stammered between saying something or not. He gulped as if he had nothing left to say. Gubate, on the other hand, became more deliberate. She took a deep breath. -It is you who have brought my brother from the land of the frost and snow. It is you who led the horse carrying him, for days. You stayed awake many nights, waited by him. Because that I am indebted. Genar interrupted apprehensively. -It was my duty. Şate and I had begun to have a grand comradeship that no one could have grasped. We talked about the future in harmony at heart and mind. It was an untimely loss. Everything was cut short. I couldn't have let anyone else to take care of him. All along the way I spoke with his soul. I felt him with me at every moment. Gubate was staring at him with her large, blue eyes. She had an air of someone who was in difficulty, but determined. She was calm. She spoke emphatically. -However, you let me be indebted to yourself! Genar shouted in awe.
-What are you saying? What kind of debt?
-I don't know how to pay back what you've done for my brother. It was what Genar was afraid of. His dreams were shattered at once. His pride was hurt. He decided firmly to give up on his hopes concerning Gubate. Without thinking, leaving all precautions aside, he attacked rudely and ruthlessly. -I had proposed you before. If you mean that about paying me back, I withdrew it. Don't worry! Gubate's face was filled with meaningless lines. Her eyes were fixed. Her lips were trembling. With her teeth clanking, she responded. -Right. Now you spoke just like a Basti. Only this could have been expected of you! The bridges of peace were pulled, a mutual war was declared. They had attacked each others weaknesses such a way that it was impossible to back down. Everything was spoiled. Their pride were shattered. They were defeated. A moment later, their anger was transformed into fear. They turned pale. They looked into the Kuban reeds for a long time. Though they looked hopeless; there was still a small bright corner in both of their hearts. Each one knew that no one else would hear of this profound argument of theirs. According to the traditions, they were at fault. They were obliged to keep silent, hide their crime until the they died. This was their only consolation. No matter what, they had to end this tension, and return. Genar took the first step with courage. -I was hoping the friendship started with Şate would continue with the other younger Nathos. Only you have forbidden me from the Natho Courtyard. You have done it in the shortest way. Yes, it is clear enough. Now, let's go, join the friends.
Gubate smiled sadly.
212 -Don't be so severe. Please make the distinction between the Nathos and the Natho daughter as you reach a decision. Don't make the fault of the Natho daughter into a fault of all Nathos. Genar was having difficulty figuring Gubate. It was as if she had two personalities. One was harsh, the other soft. One was hitting, the other caressing. When her lips smiling, her eyes were shining with anger. They didn't talk again. They walked to the grand plane trees in silence, slowly. The girls and the young men were sitting in a circle under the plane trees. Çermıtıko Aje was recounting the Russian campaign. Aje, as a keen observer, was able to find new details to catch the attention of the listeners each time he talked about the campaign. This time he was describing the Guards Corps of Kırım Giray. Aje and the others were much absorbed in the story, they didn't notice that Gubate and Genar were back and standing few paces away. Aje has been talking quite a while, he was trying tie up his words. -In summary what I am trying to say is: the guards corps of the Khan were dressed in uniforms. All were riding on government horses. They formed a protective wall around Kırım Giray. They were marching in such an orderly way that it was impossible not to admire them. It was as if the whole army was getting its strength from this nucleus. Aje, when he lifted his head, saw Genar and Gubate. He smiled to the people surrounding him. He pointed at them. -Look! Bastiko Genar is back, listening to me in silence. Possibly he didn't find any fault, more or less. The circle was broken up. The youth opened up smiling. Genar stayed where he was. With a slight smile, he looked at Aje. -Fault? On the contrary, you were recounting perfectly. He said. Aje, slightly embarrassed due to this small flattery, walked to Genar with his head down. As the group was returning to the village; Genar was occupied with the thoughts of Gubate. He couldn't find any explanations for her behavior. "perhaps, she is holds me responsible for Şate's death? Does she think it was my negligence?" he asked himself. Gubate was in a greater dilemma. She had added sorrow on top of sorrow. In fact, she was grateful to Genar. Moreover, she loved Genar. Thinking about him, let alone seeing him, was a great source of excitement for her. However, when they were alone together, these warm feelings inside her were turned into storm. She couldn't help to react harshly. To say "yes" to Genar, to respond him positively hurt her pride somehow. It was like a second personality that was taking over. Making her to say "no" to everything. She didn't know why. While the fear of loosing Genar was heavy in her heart, a voice inside her was saying "you couldn't have behaved differently, you were right."
A cool, humid evening was settling down, as they entered Natho quarter.
O0O If Genar were to decide, he would have left for home right then. However, it was not possible. His uncle Takir was there. He had to go by the decision of the elders. The second day of the visit, the youth were called by the elders to get together. Natho Sabe wanted to hear, the last moment of his son Şate, from Genar. 213 Genar narrated slowly the events in the Ukrainian village where Şate had died. His eyes were cast down as he spoke. He didn't have courage to look at Natho Sabe. Gubate's attitude made him question himself whether he was at fault. Natho Sabe listened to him without any apparent reaction. His face was as calm as his soul. Only, he smiled when Genar finished speaking -Şate always thought he could overcome all obstacles. I wish you had warned him. Genar shivered upon these hearing words. At that moment, he didn't know what to say. As he staggered, Natho Hanbeş came to his rescue. Genar couldn't have known what was coming! Genar recollected himself somewhat. He forced a smile. He looked at Natho Sabe. Then he bowed his head down again. -Everything happened so quickly! We didn't get a chance to move. We didn't expect anyone to resist us.
He reflected briefly. He looked at Sabe momentarily. Then,
he continued.
I'm not saying this because he was your son: Şate was a very
able man. He rode his horse well. He was good with arms.
He was a man who knew what he was doing. I absolutely trusted him
tremendously. I wouldn't think of stopping him. On the contrary,
I would follow his suit, because I trusted him. If you want the truth,
I haven't lost this trust. If he was alive, I would still follow
him.
Natho Hanbeş smiled sadly. -You gratified us by having remembered him as such. Thank you! Natho Sabe didn't speak. He way shy of talking about own son in the presence of his elder brother Hanbeş. He could not to express gratitude for the kind words of Genar under the traditions. Hanbeş gave permission to the youth to leave. He told his son Agu to take the visiting youth on horse back riding. He asked Basti Takir who was sitting in silence whether he had anything to say to the youth. Basti Takir only lifted his head meaning "no." The elders stood up as the youth were leaving. Genar stopped at the door. He smiled shyly. -Please don't stand up. You are embarrassing us! He said. Hanbeş with a serious, frank and trusting voice, responded -As long as we have the strength, we will obey the traditions! After the departure of the young men, the elders returned to their seats. Bastiko Takir was sitting, his head down and in silence, at the divan at the right corner. No one spoke for a while. Hanbeş we was first to interrupt the silence. -Basti, You don't talk! He complained Takir laughed, unusual of him. He moved lifted shoulders, saying "what should I say?" Again he started staring down. Hanbeş began humming an ancient Adige song, looking at distance from the window. It was a sad melody. Then he started talking in the same rhythm. -The spring is approaching! Ice will break, snow will melt. Trees will blossom and valleys will turn green. I don't believe Russians will defeat Turks and bother us. Except, they will let the Cossacks at us from the banks of Don and the Kalmuks from the banks of Volga . It is then the hell will break. First the fraternal Jane and Bjedug communities will face disaster. Then we will loose our temper. Bloody battles will commence. We will loose many young men of ours like Şate. Hey Adiğey4 hey! Wake up! Troubled days are coming! After finished with his recitation, he continued his humming with a sadder tone. He was looking into the distance, shaking his head from side to side. He went on with the refrains. 214 Çermıtıko Okle, the father of Aje who once was a best friend of Şate, was among the people sitting. He looked at Hanbeş nervously. When the others were listening Hanbeş in silence, he changed foot restlessly few times. Finally he couldn't tolerate any more. He shouted. -Hanbeş! Cut it off! Don't irritate me further! If those ugly mustached men will attack us, we'll give their lesson. We will cut these dogs' tails, and make them eat. Çermıtıko Okle meant the drooping mustaches of the Cossack and Kalmuk elders. Hanbeş turned to look at Okle. He was very calm. -Çermıtıko! You'll do it, you'll do it! No doubt you will.
Çermıtıkos were known for their short temper. Okle was further vexed.
But he didn't answer Hanbeş. He turned to the door, offended.
Turned his back to Hanbeş.
This outburst of Çermıtıko Okle made the others laugh. Even Basti Takir, turned to the wall to hide his laugh, he stayed like that for a while. O0O The visiting youth spent the last evening in Psikuy at Natho Hanbeş' guest house. Hanbeş's son Agu had invited only Çermıtıko Aje, aside from the visitors,. The daughter of the house Kodan served the meal . After the meal, Gubate and Vunay joined as well. Lasmar a Basti youth took interest in Kodan. Genar noticed the change in Lasmar, in an attempt to keep him from making an untimely move he warned him. Lasmar was vexed at Genar for picking up on his secret so quickly. As he always did under such circumstances, he was pouting sulkily. He didn't eat properly that evening. Lasmar had a sturdy and robust built . His slow movements was giving him an air of clumsiness. In reality he wasn't. He could be as light as a bird when he wished. He was strong. He was gifted in doing odd jobs. Sometimes he acted like a child. Especially when he was excited he didn't know what to do. Under the rough appearance he carried a sensitive soul. When Gubate and Vunay entered, he stood up almost with difficulty. After all the other men took their seats again, he remained standing a while longer. He looked at the girls as if he was waiting for them to sit first. Gubate smiled bashfully. -Why are you standing? Please sit! Kodan interjected with a serious manner. Answered in Lasmar's place. -He is waiting for us to sit. Everybody in the room laughed. Lasmar turned crimson. Forcing a smile, he sat without a word. Kodan had noticed the interest Lasmar took in her. If her brother Agu hadn't been there, the talkative girl would have said "Lasmar is waiting for me to sit"; when she said "he is waiting for us to sit" she meant that. Genar appreciated this intelligent Natho girl. He first looked smiling, at Lasmar, then to her. Kodan forced down a giggle, when her eyes met with Genar's. She covered her eyes with her right hand. This final evening Gubate was different again. In appearance she was calm. Painful shadows passed over her face from time to time. Sometimes, she looked attentively to the people talking. And when appropriate, she smiled slightly. Genar, since his pride was hurt from the very first day, was sad, angry, bewildered. Because of that he wanted to keep quiet pouting. Only, the time had calmed him down, made him to think over. He had figured the bitter consequences of rash reactions. He had decided the best was to behave natural. During the last evening, it was him who talked the most. He talked about his grand father Dadu. He narrated the ancient stories he had heard from his grandfather. He recollected the heroes of the Adige legends. When he came back from the darkness of the past to the dawn of the day he adopted a sad posture. He remembered Ahmet Sena. He talked like Sena. He said, the world was changing fast, in contrast Caucasia was not making progress, if the precautions were not taken timely, the consequences would be disastrous. His face was drawn with sadness when he finished his words. Everybody was silent. Except one, everyone was looking down. This was Gubate. Genar notice that Gubate was examining him through her long eye lashes. He felt a warm excitement. As if he had regained his strength, he smiled -I think I spoilt your evening. He said. Kodan stood up with a twisted smile. -Yes, indeed! First you aroused our curiosity. Then you made us shiver with excitement. Then, you froze our blood by scaring us. While everybody was laughing, Kodan went outside. They stayed long time after. They drank Boza Kodan had brought.
Late at night they broke up. Gubate and Vunay took away the Basti
daughters. The men stayed with Agu.
The roosters were beginning crowing by the time they went to bed. First one to fall asleep snoring, was Lasmar. Smayl followed him with his short frequent breathing. Genar wasn't sleepy. He thought about Gubate for a long time. He tried to figure out the double personality, the contradictions in her. "She carries twin souls with equal strength!" he sai to himself. "One is soft, trusting: smiling, hopeful, respectful, attached to the traditions.. The other severe, harsh: bolting in the her blue eyes, rueful, rebellious, untamed.." Genar had realized one thing. These two characters in Gubate were not excessive, they were within limits. They were counterbalancing each other. If one was about to go out of control, the other one stopped it. A strange feeling was developing inside him. He liked these two personalities found in Gubate. He was happy thinking the smiling Gubate. When the remembered the eyes shining like steel, he was shivering with fear. But what was obvious was that these two characters in Gubate gave him an immense pleasure. Whatever the consequences, he couldn't possibly give up Gubate. Clearly, it was a tough proposition. Had Şate been alive he would have frequently visited the Nathos. Natho Agu was different. He was a very nice man, but he was timid. Even before Şate's death, he had already accepted stay in the background. Genar's only hope was Çermıtıko Aje. He was determined to keep his ties with him. At each visit to Çermıtokos he would have chance to see Nathos, and especially Gubate.
His searching mind got tired. The subjects and the shapes started
to get vague. It was sun rise when he fell a sleep.
1An Adige term
meaning “our son”
|